or, “midnight anxieties”.
some days i want to unzip my skin, step outside; this body isn’t mine
or maybe all this weight on my bones that doesn’t feel like it belongs to me is really just the weight of everyone else’s needs and wants and expectations, manifested on my skeleton
and it’s not that i blame them, i know the fault is my own. i don’t know how to meet the potential everyone seems to see, so i initiate self destruct by chasing every sliver of dopamine
other days i’m a god and i relish every single curve because this body is a temple that’s survived multitudes of abuse and unkind words, most often at my own hand
in a world moving so goddamn fast
i need someone to touch me slow
written march 28, 2022 at approximately 2am